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08:32am 10/11/2006
  am trying myspace for awhile

07:29am 25/02/2006
  we have a house. they've accepted our bid. they played a bit of an underhanded game but...we got the house and for five thousand under the asking price...which can't be all that bad. now we wait for all the legal crap and mortgage stuff to get sorted out. these things really don't move too quickly as it is estimated it will take around 8 weeks or longer. at least the weather should be better when we move. hopefully no snow in april/may time.  
09:41am 07/01/2006
  wonderful n.y's eve. probably one of the best. settling back into to work and life after the holidays...not too difficult as didn't have a huge amount of time off.
started running with boy...err, well kind of he's faster than me so I lag a distance behind...feels good to start exercising again...is not a n.y's thing though because we started before.

think gigi is pissed off at me for some unknown reason...as she's avoiding me...and I'm not going to give in this time...I will not be a pushover again.

Birthday is coming. Jesus I'm going to be 30...as my bro keeps reminding me when we're on the phone, "that's weird."

We got a big package from grams on Thursday. Very suspensful opening as it took a good ten minutes to get all of the tape off of it. She gave us two pounds of chocolate, each a pair of sweats(far too big think she thought we need larger sizes after the chocolates,) and fifty dollars each. We're going to combine our money and change it into pounds...and buy something for the house today.
02:58pm 25/10/2005
  It's official!!
We're booked and paid for and ready to go. Now it's just the waiting to leave. Feel more excited about cali now. Am ready to go!!!!
Will be lovely to have some time away with boy!
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11:32am 23/10/2005
  feeling better than i did yesterday. although anything would be better than yesterday. only one more sunday of boy working. it helps knowing this.
next weekend we won't just be sitting around due to finances...instead will be seeing his uncle sorting through our expectations and the reality of it all.
was just v. upset yesterday by all of this waiting. realize that it's starting to come together. i'm just impatient and want it all to happen now.
04:00pm 21/10/2005
  yeah for days off during the week! Feeling much better after taking the day off from work. It means a long weekend which is even better. Boy came home early from work today which was a lovely surprise. We're still in the midst of saving for a long list of things...including our upcoming trip back to the U.S.
Unfortunetly that means not doing much this weekend. Will be nice to rest and relax as work has been v. exhausting this week.

Em. and Gigi have emailed...they're getting better at communicating. Still not sure whether I can be bothered about going out to sac. Sometimes it feels like it's a little too late. There's too many issues with gig and I wonder if it will be awkward. Chris essentially hate's her for all of the crap that she's done over the last year...which may lead to this. So we'll see.

Am really looking forward to thanksgiving. Is one of my favorite holidays...so it's a perfect time to go back...will be good to be back in cali for a bit.
01:59pm 09/10/2005
  saving money and spending time at home. went for a bike ride with boy yesterday then spent day lounging(again) and watching movies, reading the paper over cups of tea. he's at work again today. just three more of these sunday shifts and he's done...thankfully.
much to look forward to in november. am getting antsy for our time away...and holiday...in both the english and american sense of the word...with my family.
work continues to plod along with no stress and no drama...and our life together moves along at the same pace. is strange at times after all of the worries and stress of last year. although we're cutting back on spending and sacrificing things at the moment...it will be worth it in the long term. it's not as bad financially as it was last year. our debts should be cleared by jan. which is really good news.
spent this morning in the garden throwing out the sunflowers which had died and preparing for winter. i love how you can feel the change in the seasons here. there's a chill to the air now that wasn't there before.
01:44pm 02/10/2005
  yesterday was an extremly lazy day. did nothing but lounge about with boy. well deserved. i think i needed it as i was exhausted. today relaxed but lively...considering that i'm on my own with boy doing another overtime shift. went for a six mile bike ride. a v. nice day for it breezy and sunny...although i didn't seem to be getting anywhere when i was riding into the wind.
back home...walked to the shop to pick up some things...then cleaned the entire house...boring but lovely day.
08:06pm 30/09/2005
  feeling restless but tired. am irritated yet again with gigi. i really do give up this time. it's just not worth it.
need to do something about these extra pounds as i'm starting to get down on myself.
need a vacation. some sun...some excitment...
03:44pm 28/09/2005
  good day at work. but am v. tired...again. it's cold and stormy out...will be nice to curl up with boy in a bit. am begining to freak out about the stupid tickets for nov. as they are really cheap now but we don't have the cash to pay for them right now so we'll have to wait. unfortunetly we won't have the cash until oct. 24th...that's forever...and it's really near the time that we are meant to go so they might be v. costly.  
01:30pm 26/09/2005
  v. tired. couldn't sleep last night because i didn't get out of bed until v. late on sunday. so came home from work an hour early. must not sleep though. so i can go to bed at normal time tonight.
we had good times on friday with david and amy. chili, cranium and cards...yay for the simple things in life. lovely day with husband on saturday. meandering about town, chatting over coffee about next year's plans, travel, buying a house and starting a family. then meant with his parents and sister for italian. good to meet up with them it had been awhile.
then home to curl up with husband and watch some tele. sunday spent alone...hence why i was unmotivated to get out of bed. when i did though i went for a five mile bike ride as husband was at work. will be happy when his working sundays are over with.
12:22pm 20/09/2005
  am looking at future tibet trip and having wonderful flashbacks to our mongolia trip. some things that occur when traveling can only be appreciated in retrospect. hmmm, like chasing after my train after being locked in a room at the russian border...to find future husband being held back by armed soldiers...it must be love if he's willing to undergo more misadventures with me.

wonder what will happen at the tibet border....
11:43am 20/09/2005
  called off sick from work today. woke up with a pounding migrane that hasn't really gone away. have tried sleeping it away. have taken some parecetomal tablets...but nothing seems to work.
will go take a shower and see if that helps.
11:08am 15/09/2005
mood: contemplative
home today. boy has interview and needed car so will work sunday instead of today. is good day to curl up under our blanket...would be nice if he was here though. gloomy and rainy out. must force myself to study for driving theory test tomorrow. i am feeling v. nervous about it. partly because everyone is saying it's all common sense. which admitidly i can lack at times.
made myself "american pancakes" this morning...you have to differintiate here otherwise you get an interesting alternative...and coffee...v. indulgent...must appreciate the little things... sat watching trashy television with my coffe and pancakes...okay it was nine'o...something i've not watched since my college days with gigi...i must take boy to show him humboldt have been feeling a bit nostalgic for the place...would be nice to go back for a visit.

am looking forward to this weekend...as if everything works out right we should find out about buying a house and traveling next year. hopefully it will be good news. feels strange but wonderful...it still hits me every once in awhile i'm married and living abroad...and looking to buy a house...wow isn't it crazy where life can take you.
The good news...   
11:57am 11/09/2005
  It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.  
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11:00am 11/09/2005
  This weekend past by far too quickly. Boy has been working ovetime on Sundays which leaves me here alone during the day. Understand it will put us in a better position financially but would rather him be here...Sundays aren't the same now.
We got new mountain bikes yesterday thanks to the bike scheme at chris's work. I love my new bike. I think it cost the same as the last car I bought on my own. I think that I paid five hundred dollars for that. It was during a time when I was struggling. The ability to reverse in it eventually went out. It didn't seem v. wise to get it fix or pay for another car as I was leaving to England in like two months...so it just meant planning ahead a bit and not getting into areas where i had to reverse.
Anyways back to the bike. I went out for a bike ride this morning. On my own ...which I hate. Can I just say that the gym has done crap all for my fitness levels. My thighs and butt are still burning from the short ride. Oh, and I thought England was flat...I've never noticed the amount of hills around our house until I was sat on my bike.
So new plan, think I will cancel the gym...and despite the weather I will start running again outside and biking. Much better plan I think.
03:29pm 08/09/2005
  okay i admit that sometimes i can be completely irrational. i can sometimes realize these moments but am helpless to do anything about it. partly stubborness, partly pride, but mostly just stupidity. i think all three applied last night as i lay on the couch at midnight. frustrated because i was tired and counting the hours down until work the following morning. trying to sleep while boy snored next to me. got fed up and stormed out of the bedroom to sleep on the couch. why i have no idea because. boy was asleep and would not witness the display and could have just as easily woke him up and asked him to role over...as he would happily do. i was in a state by this point so the logical option did not occur to me. then to make things worse for myself i laid down on the couch and started to get mad that (poor)boy didn't realize i was gone and not come down to get me. so then it turned into to a test of sorts...i have no idea why i do this. i lay there thinking if he really loved me he'd come down and get me. the stupidity doesn't stop there. boy did notice i was gone...and shouted down looking for me...this wasn't enough...i shake my head at myself in dissapointment...i sad i was sleeping on the couch because he was snoring...and laid there until i reached the boiling point of my own creation...then stormed into the room asking how he could let me sleep down there.
i later apologized and admitted i was wrong in a flood of tears. i admit that i was an irrational mess last night.
the thing is by the time i reach this point i start analyzing everything in my life and start to feel nostalgic for friends and family. i have no close connections here other than chris...and i absolutely love the boy and wouldn't trade my life over here with him for anything...but it would be nice to have friends of my own here. all of chris's friends are great and nice but there chris's friends. i love my job, our house and chris...that's really quite good...there just seems to be a small piece missing at times...having my friends and family close by...it's just not possible to live in the u.s. now.
it's been a fresh start in so many ways over here...and we are better off in so many ways living over here...i do contemplate moving back with chris sometimes...but i don't see it happening.
i'm tired...it's my fault do to last nights emotional episodes. i'm really fortunate that he's patient with me...as i know i can't be easy sometimes.
08:55pm 07/09/2005
  wow tomorrow is thursday. where has the week gone?
feeling run down and tired from this cold bug that seems to come alive at night when I try to sleep. Will attempt to go to bed earlier tonight. Am looking forward to lounging around saturday and sleeping in. Belgium was great we had a wonderful time...but was kind of tiring with all the train journeys and trying to get the most out of our time away.
Driving test is next Friday. I'm not telling anyone else besides chris and my family...as I don't want to feel like an idiot if I fail. It's just the theory part...and I've been studying but have a nervous pit already...am trying to convince myself not to stress as I do before most tests.
It just seems backwards that I've been able to drive legally on my cali license for a year here and now I have to take a u.k. test.

Spoke with nearly everyone back at home on Monday. Was a bit worried for em's family with all of the new orleans stories in the news...but they all seem okay...even though her sister has lost her house. Gigi seems to be happy and doing well...and my bro seemed down right chipper. Am really looking forward to seeing the kid.

Have made an active effort to eat healthier and exercise more...and it seems to be working...I feel better for it...which I suppose is all that matters...I'm tired of putting unrealistic expectations on my body and feeling bad for it...so am just eating healthier...there will always be the occasional slipup.

My sunflowers have bloomed and have already started to die. The whole thing feels kind of anticlimatic and sad. There's the excitement to see them sprout and grow and then they bloom and that's it. I don't think summer will last long enough here for the rest to bloom.
it already smells like waffles...   
04:17pm 05/09/2005
  home and back to work. don't really mind. would have loved more time away and has sparked me again...really hope we can take our china/tibet/nepal trip next year.
first class on the train down to london. only because there was a special on the tickets. a good start anyways.
from that to a hotel in what looked at first sight a crap area...but wasn't too bad. meandering around covent garden, some good eats and a musical.
loved it. but couldn't help thinking for a story taking place durning the french revolution...it seems weird for some of the actors to be speaking cockney english.
then off to belgium...brussels.
i really had no idea what to expect from brussels. it's a lovely mix of virtually every european city...which of course is what it should be as it's the capital of the eu.
lovely weekend walking the cobbled stone streets, drinking v. nice beer, eating french fries(or whatever it is in flemish can't remember now)chocolates and waffles...we could smell the waffles as soon as we left the train.

can't wait to travel more.
02:36pm 28/08/2005
  london in three days.
belguim in four.
six days off of work. time with boy roaming about cobbled stone streets.
can't wait!